My old, broken wallet is held together by a bright blue ponytail holder. Often times, I reach my hand into my pants pocket to grab my keys or phone and instead find a colorful hair barrette. In fact, there were times when everyday I would find a barrette in my pocket, or at least a ponytail holder. The inside of my car is just as much a magnet to these items as are my bureau and jackets. Sometimes it seems as if I could walk by these items and have them simply jump off the counters and into my pockets. And, there are times when when I believe that actually happens! You see, I have girls as my children. No boys. Girls. And, not one. Not two. But, three girls. And I love each one of them.
Every once in a while, I meet someone who compliments me on my children and then, in the same breath, manages to ask or suggest I keep working on “the boy.” Typically, I smile and say, “I don’t think so. We’re happy with our girls.” But if I were being honest with those individuals, I would say something more like, “How dare you!?! What makes you think my girls aren’t good enough? Why do you think I would not be happy with ‘just them?'”
Excuse me if I say that my girls are not “extra” or “in addition to” or “just” something. My girls simply are.
- They are my children.
- They are special.
- They are smart.
- They are beautiful.
- They are talented.
- That are funny.
- They are girls.
- They are all I need.
So, the next time you are thinking about asking me if we “are working on the boy,” let this be my message: Instead of asking me that question, ask yourself why a girl is not good enough for you. Why do you feel the need to project your uneasiness on me? I have girls. I do not need a boy. I have girls who like to play dress up and then go out and kick a ball. I have girls who play with dolls, and then ask if we can play basketball. I have girls who love arts and crafts, and then pick up a football in the dollar store and ask to play catch. I have girls who color or play make believe, and then cheer on the Syracuse Orange men’s basketball team while the oldest buries her head when we are only up by one point. I have girls and I love them.
If you have a girl, give her a hug and tell her she’s special – tell her that you love her.
Now about that wallet. I could buy a new one, and probably will someday. But for now, the one held together with a ponytail holder works just fine.